我总是在寻找直得信任，可以倾谈的男性朋友。
但我忽略了，同时间这些朋友也是不敢担当，更不敢为友人抱不平或挡下困难。
我很想被保护, 我装坚强吧了。
所以我对追求者第一要求就是面对面表白( 不是在广众啦!! )

Okay
WHY am i mention this suddenly? i feel betrayed when someone snake out and i face everything Myself~
It began from a small incident.
You, the one who reminded me about the joke and i started to work out what we had plan previously.
End up left me alone doing. What for reminding me the plan then? ( i did not get mad with this actually, she neither.)

But due to this joke she started mentioning about some stuffs, i know why she did so just because i fooled her yet you, the one who snake out still dare to put in another words to mention about the things i MIND a lot!! You read my latest post in blog and you should seriously know how i feel right, not like i did not share with you or apologised right!! The latest incident already hurt me badly. I'm trying to let it off but could you stop adding salt on it or recall them back? I was force to be cheerful in front of you guys yet my heart was dripping tears.

身边已寥寥无几，最经还一连窜发生那么多事,
才真真惊觉身边的一切, 原来只是信任是不够的.

FALLING IN LOVE with someone ~~easy but Tough mission

-Starbucks day-
I noticed there was a girl. She sat right behind me with her younger sister.
I heard she was talking with her bf through phone. and she was totally freaking me out.
I admire...No no!! is jealous with her behaviour, the way she talked to her bf. So straight forward. no worries and laugh out terribly.
I suddenly felt so upset at that moment, she was just like the 'old' ME last time. Carefree~
Ever since my college life starts
It has been quite some time.....
Think before u do, speak, act.....
Care a lot, have to stay aware of people around u, person that u speak to and etc.
I can feel that my brain is moving every second before and during talking now. Compare to last time, less worries less pathetic. I enjoyed every moment!!
I dislike the current 'ME'~sound selfish to someone i know.
But i fully agree with this phrase "we have to love ourselves first before loving other ppl!!!"
If i happy, i believe that friends surround us will got affected by this happiness too.
Well, not easy to change back to the original side....Thing has changed without your controlling.

let me voice out here!!

So pathetic

i feel like doing too much

sick of being, the only caring, working out automatically without mentioning....

there is not much appreciates received

Somehow, i have to admit that why am i being such generous all the while

I had succeed by seeking the attraction, it has not last any longer

Slowly, i have become a tool, use me when needs me. when i face problem, no cares ...everyone's gone~~

Hope that i will be treated differently after all my hard works done, such idiot!!

1st day knowing them?! they will only care what they use to care.

They are my part of souls, respects, tolerance, my follower - i finally realized, i'm acting so foolish, putting too much efforts just to show my existence.....

I can hold with it seriously, for months~ years~

if these crappy incidents did not happen from the past few days~it could be even longer

Adults to the youngest,

they have clearly show in front of me even tells, my care was an EXTRA.

i still remember these bitchy talks "I didn't ask u to be like that!!, you yourself care too much!!!, stop giving annoying advises!!" these really hurt me......

i am the only one who follow whatever instructions or so call *rules* set??

When you're great : this is what you have to behave like, ADULT!

but actually i have start hanging this behaviour since i was 13. Since the day my brother left to another state....since the day you'll ask me to take care of my sister...since the day i start working.

I'm not born to be independence, i have to be..trained to be...-understandable; somehow

i can be weak sometimes.

I have tried so hard to not letting myself make any mistake, not letting you'll to worry but STILL there is thing to blame....their fault nag me, why ar?!

Blame ! Blame! Blame!...can someone stands out for me?

I don't expect more but at least EQUAL